THAT VOGUE ARTICLE: GIRLIES LET’S TALK.
- Lucy Churchill
- Nov 12, 2025
- 3 min read
I’m sure we have all seen the article that Vogue published back in October entitled ‘Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?’ If you haven’t, PLEASE go and read it because it is SO interesting. It has sparked a lot of debate across social media: are people understanding the point of the article or missing it entirely?
Chante Joseph (the author of the article) delves into this idea that announcing that you have a boyfriend to society doesn’t have the same affect that it used to. Society used to see it as a way to affirm your womanhood, that if a woman is in a relationship with a man she has won at life. Her further goals and ambitions are swept away by her biggest accomplishment of being taken of the market by someone’s son. BOOOOOO. However now, the narrative is shifting. Woman are understanding the importance of standards and asking themselves the question will this person enhance my life or hinder it?
My take on it is this. Yes, having a boyfriend is embarrassing if you are in a relationship with someone who does not treat you with the love that you deserve. You are settling for crumbs. Allowing bad behaviour and making excuses for their shitty actions. When I was single, I felt so whole. So happy within myself and I knew that if someone was to come into my life, they would need to enhance the energy that I had already created for myself and bring it to the table because I was so capable of giving myself the love that I know I deserve to have. The standards are rising. Woman are taking control of their happiness and creating it for themselves without relying on someone’s son to do it for them.
One part in particular that really stood out to me in the article was: ‘Heterosexuality has long been purposefully indefinable, so it is harder for those within it and outside of it to critique. However, as our traditional roles begin to crumble, maybe we’re being forced to re-evaluate our blind allegiance to heterosexuality.’
I feel we have ignored the societal norm that has been there for so long. Woman are valued more when they are in a relationship. YEAH I KNOW. We’re evaluating our roles. How much value can we give ourselves as women without the external validation of a man? Creating a life for ourselves that we love and not EVER settling for less because we deserve the whole fucking cake.
I am in the healthiest and happiest relationship I have ever been in my life and I’ll tell you why. When I was single I was also in the happiest and healthiest relationship with myself. My standards were high. I felt so whole and content within my own company which allowed me to understand and evaluate what I expected and how I wanted to be treated in a relationship. Ladies don’t ever settle. Claim your space and call out bad behaviour because you owe it to yourself to fight your corner. Men need to learn the importance of standards YES but please know it is not your job to teach them and be their mother when they don’t treat you with respect.
I hope you all have the most amazing week. I’m sending you so much love and remember: if he isn’t giving you the whole damn cake…dump his sorry ass xox
THE ARTICLE 🍸✨
Lots of love,
Lucy xxx
